


State of perfection

by Morgensterin



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition, Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: Addiction, Drug Addiction, F/M, Gen, Lust, Lyrium Addiction, Memories, Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-25
Updated: 2016-12-25
Packaged: 2018-09-12 04:52:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 795
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9056128
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Morgensterin/pseuds/Morgensterin
Summary: In cooperation with Necronaut666





	

_Save me..._

_I think I've swallowed more than I can comprehend_  
  


Things got worse, Corypheus was always one step ahead of Inquisition and Orlais was plunging in political chaos. And she decided to throw him away like a useless toy. For whom? A murderer? A coward? A liar? Cullen couldn't stand a thought that she manipulated him all the time. Played with his feelings science they've got to Skyhold.

He couldn't believe how Hiraeth could be so arrogant and ask him to help her lover. He wanted to deride her and bid her to go out, but he didn't. He tried to show her he's above all of those games, that he's a professional. Instead he had only demeaned himself and she trampled his dignity as a hideous worm.

 

In last few days he was anxious and unable to focus on his work and duties like he always did. Last few evenings he spent drinking an alcohol questionable quality  in the company of peasant girls. But today he felt filthy and disgusted with himself, that he used those poor and innocent women for his own sexual pleasures.

The memories were so intensive tonight that he couldn't oppose them. Lyrium was somewhere there. This was his utmost defeat – that personal one. He surrendered against his addiction which was bringing back his terrible memories, which remind him that he was only thoughtless Chantry's tool designed to kill disobedient mages.

He came to his chamber, unsteadily, step by step and got to his desk looking for lyrium. He couldn't take control of his quivering body and pain grow stronger and stronger. Finally he found what he wanted. With trembling hands he took his drugs. Tremor was slowly declining but the pain was still dreadful. Suddenly he realised that the whole time he spent with those peasants, he was thinking about one certain woman. She was the one he dreamed of for long months.

In his mind's eyes he saw Her. He tenderly touched her bare breast one hand while second moved on her round hips. They united in impassioned kiss – her lips, her pale skin was as soft and gentle as silk. She strongly twined her shapely legs around his loins and kissed him passionately.  An ethereal, unattainable mage. But not Trevelyan.

 _What was her name?!_ He cursed himself, hit the floor and leaned on his desk. He closed eyes while pain was slowly fading away.

 

* * *

 

Three weeks had passed science he got to the Circle but templar training had been already exhausted. Most of the day was absorbed by sword fighting exercises, learning how to protect from magic and demon possession and if not, there was always time to learn by heart the whole Chantry of Light. None of young future templars knew the word “spare-time”. There were almost no breaks, except evenings and meals.

Cullen was quite jealous about mages. They seemed to have no duties and they could do anything they want in any time. Sometimes he found them irritating, especially that day.

Head upon the table he was sitting, a few young mages were in particular hilarious mood. He knew that they were conspiring something, but he couldn't get any idea what it could be. He suddenly noticed that one of them was holding a small phial in hand. A girl sitting in front of him, not older than 10. She was the loudest and the most cheerful of all those young plotters. She caught his stare and Cullen felt he was flushing. She smiled at him friendly and drunk liquid contained in flask.

She appeared to be more pale than earlier. He saw that all joy vanished from her face. In few seconds her dark blue eyes became lighter and long, straight hair turned from brown to white. She fell from chair. Rest of group disappeared immediately with Irving and the Knight-commander Gregoir took the girl on his hands. Before he left the hall he looked angrily at Cullen. Boy felt guilty. He tried to find out what happened to her but none could answer him. Or none wanted to do that. He was convinced that she died and this thought filled him a strange sorrow.

After few weeks he spotted white-haired girl on the other side of great hall. She smiled at him blushing and run away. During next years every time he saw her all seemed to be easier. She attracted him more than before. In his belief she was different from all of mages, all of the girls he had known. One of a kind.

 

* * *

 

 _Melody..._ He whispered silently. Maybe not every memory from Circle was a nightmare.

 

_Mit diesem Herz hab ich die Macht_  
_Die Augenlider zu erpressen_  
_Ich singe bis der Tag erwacht_  
_Ein heller Schein am Firmament_

**Author's Note:**

> In cooperation with Necronaut666


End file.
